When “Neighbour” Apps Turn Into Boundary Testing - Miro Ubovic 647-962-1087 - Brian McCarthy 416-303-5823

Neighbourhood apps are meant for local help, recommendations, and community updates. But sometimes they get used for unwanted flirting, and the problem is not the first message. It is what happens after someone clearly sets a boundary.

In a private message exchange on NextDoor App shared with me, a woman receives a casual greeting and then an invitation to meet for coffee. She responds clearly: she is married. Instead of accepting that boundary and ending the conversation, the sender Miro Ubovic with the phone number 647-962-1087 replies with a flirtatious comment that being married is "more tempting," and then adds that he is in a relationship too, implying that makes it acceptable.

That is the moment the interaction changes. It is no longer a friendly invite. It becomes boundary pushing.

What the screenshots show, in plain terms

• A meet-up invite is sent.

• The recipient says she is married.

• The sender continues anyway with a suggestive message, then rationalizes it by saying he is also in a relationship.

• Later, the sender asks to move the conversation "somewhere else" to another chatting platform.

• The conversation shifts toward taking it off the app, and a phone number is shared.

Why this matters

A lot of people minimize this kind of thing because it is not overtly threatening. 

It is also very offensive when some men treat women like a piece of meat. That mindset reduces a person to a body instead of respecting her as a human being with boundaries, dignity, and the right to say no.

But boundary pushing is still a problem. When someone hears "I'm married" or "I'm not available" and responds by turning it into a challenge, that is disrespectful. It treats the person like a goal to overcome instead of a human being who said no.

Also, pushing to move off-platform is a common escalation step. Once you leave the app, you lose built-in reporting tools, moderation, and recordkeeping. It can also make someone feel pressured to share private contact information.

Red flags to watch for:

• Ignoring a clear "no" or "I'm married."

• Turning a boundary into flirting or a "challenge."

• "I'm in a relationship too," as a justification.

• Trying to move the conversation off the app quickly.

• Asking for, or sharing, personal contact details early.

What to do if this happens to you

• Do not negotiate your boundary. You can end it with one line: "No thanks. Please do not contact me again."

• Do not move off-platform. Staying in-app protects you.

• Screenshot everything. Keep timestamps visible.

• Block and report. Report the messages as unwanted advances or harassment, depending on the app's options.

• Tell someone you trust if you feel uneasy, especially if the person claims to be local to your area.

• If you feel threatened or the person persists after you say stop, consider contacting local authorities.

And another individual in Richmond Hill by the name of Brian McCarthy, phone number 416-303-5823, who works for Margaret Bahen Hospice in Newmarket offered free advice, hand with home or auto issues and stated that he would provide free services to anyone. However, when a male friend of mine contacted him, he stated that he does not provide free services and would only provide them to me.

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